A dozen or two of South Warwickshire's hippest movers and shakers were caught rabbit-in-headlamp-like at the frankly astonishing sartorial elegance of The Pinstriped Lunatic upon his arrival yesterday at The Elegance Evening in the sleepy Spa town of Leamington.
A hush fell momentarily on the room. After surveying the amazing sight presented to them, the crowd exhaled gasps of occular ectasy as they stood, frozen to the spot.
The pinstripes! The cut! The eye-popping green satin! The zippers! Those adjusting straps! Those boots! That look! How dare he? 
And yet there was more to come... After casually discarding the tailcoat, the true magnificence of the daring waistcoat and well fitted double-zipped strap trouser combination was too much for some. Ladies fainted, and men were outraged by the blatant one-upsmanship sported infront of their very eyes. Those in dinner jackets (no doubt the *last word* back then) simply could not compete. How could they? To them it was an ouslaught of an unimaginable nature, a force too strong. Later, as champagne fizzed up and cocktails slipped down, the party-goers made their way one by one to enquire about how they might be able to aquire such finery. Cryptic cyber-cyphers containing the details of the mysterious and enigmatic seamstrix in question were divulged to those considered worthy of her attentions. These were greedily noted down by any means possible, in order that this privileged information would not be lost amongst the haze of alcohollic over-consumption. Alas, for me, the evening was only a short one, for I had to return to BigVern to rest before the rigours of work this morning. But rest assured word has started to spread, and in the cosmic blinking of an eye, those who aspire, those who dream, and those who desire, have seen how their future could be....


Husbondi, Warwickshire